DO POLITICIANS MAKE GOOD PETS ?

Janet is always keen to expand her mind and decided to have a look at the Times Educational Supplement yesterday, which carried an article about psychometric testing on the front page and gave the following "taster" :

" Pet topic

A psychometric-style question

The cat is a small carnivorous mammal that is often valued by humans for its companionship. The cat is a skilled predator and is known to hunt over 1,000 species for food. Cats use a variety of vocalisations and body language for communication, such as purring, mewing, hissing and growling. The cat is an intelligent mammal and can be trained to obey simple commands. Typically, a cat will weigh between 2.5kg and 7kg. Cats are extremely sensitive as they have highly advanced hearing, eyesight, touch, and taste receptors. People’s belief that cats are solitary animals is incorrect, as they are actually highly social. This misconception is due to cats not having a social survival strategy (“pack mentality”) like animals such as dogs. This means that they look after their own needs, even when living in a group.
Q: Cats make good companions for humans
A: True
B: False
C: Cannot say
Source: Aptitude Tests Online."

Our answer would, of course, be A : True. However, could this be a trick question, with a politically correct sub-text, intended to weed out humans (and potential teachers) who also "look after their own needs, even when living in groups" notwithstanding that they have a "social survival strategy" as well.

In thus reflecting, Rocco (a cat) finds himself asking : Do politicians make good pets ? : or, more politically correctly, do they make good companions for cats ? Answers, please.

Yes, says Tango, who appeared on BBC1's political "Question Time" recently.

THE RISE AND RISE OF MS PIGGY

In the year 2000, a gentleman friend - and erstwhile Big Shot in the World of Advertising - advised Janet on the return of the fuller figure for women. At the time, she forgot this piece of advice almost immediately, but has since often recollected it.

So it was only the other day, that whilst perusing the political shelves in a local bookshop, she came across two volumes which recalled her former gentleman friend's words. One book, whose name she also forgot immediately, was an extended diatribe by Julie Birchill and someone with a double-barrelled surname (unclear whether male or female).

In this volume, Ms Birchill and her friend hold forth on range of subjects - political with both a large and small "p" - including women of "the fuller figure", of which Ms B is a Big One. She also has a rather shrill voice, which amongst larger ladies also seems to have made a comeback.

As it happens, Janet chanced upon a couple of these Modern Harpies fighting for a car-parking space - one in gold 4x4 Merc and the other in similar Chavrolet* - as she took her bike towards the train station on a very hot day. "How Very Uncool !", she thought.

The other volume was a biography of Boris Johnson, whose title Janet has also forgotten, but which bore a quotation on the front cover from Ken Livingstone : "the scariest book I've read since The Silence of the Lambs". Boris himself incidentally describes the book as "Rubbish...but well-written rubbish !". Lot of "That" about !

However, this book does indeed contain something quite extra-ordinary : photographs of the young Boris which bear more than a passing resemblance to the character of Vicky Pollard in Little Britain !

* Ms Birchill is a defender of "Chav", being Upper Chav herself, and perhaps a Chavrolet driver.